Thursday, May 20, 2010

DEAR sweet BAILEY girl,



As I sit here and write this letter to you, I still can't believe you have moved on.  It's only been a few hours, but part of me wishes I can rewind to last night where just you and I sat under the stars and talked, all while I rubbed your ears and kissed your head.  I know I told you it was ok to leave us, and it certainly still is, but the audible emptiness in our home and hearts tonight is so difficult. However, I know you are in a better place....you are now able to breath, to move freely without pain and to play ball once again.  {Oh, how you loved to play ball!} And with those thoughts, I am comforted and at peace.

Bailey...thank you for being such an awesome dog.  YOU were my doggie in the window, captured my heart the minute I saw you and that heart only grew with so much love and affection.  Our loyal shadow..always graciously by our side, insisting on being under our feet and never far away.  Unless that is, you were stealing our food the minute we turned our back.  Hey...where did that loaf of bread go?  BAILEEEEEY!  You little stinker.  Now the thought of that makes me smile.  

And with the addition of little feet in our home..you were so, so kind and loving..frankly, allowing them to abuse you at times, but yet you never let it get to you.  Instead you greeted them with lots and lots of kisses to which Makenna and Rylan would squeal in delight.  I love you girl.




I will miss you Bailey.  I hope you are up in doggie heaven, sitting in the fields, soaking up the sun and then running to retrieve the balls.  Say hi to our little guy Max too.  I am sure he greeted you with a happy tail wag and a big kiss. 


Thank you for showing me unconditional love and bringing so much love, happiness and joy to our family everyday.  WE will all miss you..but know that you will live on in our memories and our hearts.  You will always be remembered and You will never be forgotten. 


Bay...i love you, little girl, and may we meet again in my dreams.  But for now, I will say I love you so much to say good bye.  


Love always, mommy xoxo 

And one for the Fuzzalump...

That was one of my pet names for her. Fuzzalump, Fuzzy Bumpkin, Bailey-Bay. She went by lots of names. She answered to just about anything that either had the word "food" in the call or if she saw you holding something edible.

She's gone tonight. Gone to a better place.

It started probably about a week ago. She's twelve and change, and her hips have been bothering her. A few weeks ago I took her to the vet for incontinence and a urinary tract infection (UTI). The usual course of medication and something new for the incontinence, and that seemed to do. But she wasn't the same. Tuesday and Wednesday night she fell going upstairs and needed to be carried; she stopped liking her food and having an appetite maybe a week ago. Tried three different kinds of food and dousing it in turkey broth to soften it up. Not so much.

In retrospect, I missed one of the most important "passing of the torch" signs. She's always been the alpha dog. Cassidy could jostle with her, but Bailey would always growl and put her jaws around Cassidy's neck. Playfully to some degree, but with the not-so-veiled undertone, "Don't forget who the f*ck is in charge here, sister."

And Cassidy never did.

That growl hasn't been present for weeks. Can't remember the last time she asserted herself, now that I think about it.

And this morning, after she fell again last night and urinated on the steps, I made the tough call to the vet and made an appointment for tonight. I took today to work at home. She was never alone. She couldn't walk around much. She didn't have any interest in a peanut butter filled bone. I guess that was really the penultimate sign. The opportunist with the prodigious appetite had none. Her run was coming to an end.

It was a 6:00 appointment; Kelly's mom took Makenna and Rylan for ice cream before we left. We told Makenna that she was old and sick and was going to doggie heaven where she could run and play and do all the things she used to. Makenna seemed cool with that. They left, we picked her up and put her in the car. We were running late, and as I made the last right turn to travel the four or so miles down Royce Road to the vet, Kelly cried from the backseat that she was going.

By the time I got us there, she was gone.

She did it on her terms. Folks said their goodbyes today and made sure she was attended to. Like I said, precipitous doesn't describe how fast it happened. We were running late. I think she passed at 6:04; that was Kelly's guess.

The folks at VCA Bolingbrook could NOT have been more understanding or compassionate. They get it; they love their patients and grieve with their owners when the inevitable comes to pass. If you're a local and you read this and are looking for a great place to take your pets, think about them. Basically 53 and Royce Rd. If you're semi-local, it's worth the trip. Unquestionably.

They took her and she'll be cremated and her ashes spread at an animal cemetery in Hinsdale. But the most important part is, she's in a better place. The last week has been arduous for her, probably the last couple of weeks have been laborious. She knew and had better sense than we. Well, our sense came at the last possible moment and was fortunately aligned with hers.

My first meeting with Bailey (and Cassidy) was at the door of 974 Portsmith Lane, our old address. I rang the doorbell to pick Kelly up for our second date and the cacophony of barking ensued. They were better than any alarm you could purchase. Kelly told me that if I hadn't made it through them, I never would've gotten a third date and we certainly wouldn't be where they are now. Bailey was four and Cassidy was two. Both young and full of spunk. Bailey's repertoire of tricks included balancing a treat on her nose and then eating it. She was proficient at "fetch"; better than her sister who would take off running with very little inclination to run off without you.

But even early on, Bailey was an Old Soul. It's a great phrase and I capitalised it because it's applied here as a proper name. My mom, who is DEATHLY afraid of dogs, was comfortable around Bailey. We had a party at the old place (Mom Jayhan's 50th or a housewarming, I forget which), and my mom got a bloody nose and had to lay on the floor. Bailey laid on the floor with her, head on her stomach, the entire time.

That was her. That was what she did. That was how she loved. She had to be attached to you at every waking moment. I was raised without pets. Well, I had fish, but they're only partial credit. So as I transitioned into becoming a pet owner, I had to get over several qualms, including realising that, occasionally, there'd be more than just me in the can and not to get stage fright over it. Food on the edges of tables and islands would need to be guarded. Sometimes I wondered at the old place where we left them to roam the house during the day how food disappeared from tucked back against the walls. I thought that she and Cassidy were like circus acrobats; one standing on the back of the other like some variant of the Flying Karamazovs. Loaves of bread disappeared without a trace and in seconds if we made a tactical error. But that was part of her charm.

You could not have asked for a more wonderful companion for Makenna in her first three years on the planet and for Rylan in his first nine months. I lament that she'll only be in pictures for them as they grow up and mature and ask questions about the dog in the photos. When we brought Makenna home, she could not have been more nuturing and caring. Sure, the breed has a tendency to be gentle, but she was more than that. She was her plaything who would lick her when she was having fun and growl when she'd had enough. And she was ours.

Correction. We were hers.

It's a night of drinking out of sorrow, but it's a night of remembering out of joy. It's a night to sing her song and tell her stories. She'll live on in pictures, video and our hearts and minds. We may get another dog someday, but we'll never get another Bailey.

To those of you who met her, your friend has passed. To those of you who have come to know her through this narrative, may you smile and hug your own pets (if you've got them) and toss them an extra treat. One of their fellow kind has passed tonight, and her story shall be sung and remembered for as long as we live.

Sit. Stay. Roll over. Good Bailey. (Scratch, scratch, scratch.) Farewell, Old Soul.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Finally some pages for Rylan's books!!!  
Here are a few scrapbook pages that I completed last month at our scrapping retreat.
Seeing that we are packing for another getaway weekend coming up, a family trip to Door County, I thought I better post these quickly. Where do the days go? 
Time...can I purchase some?  :)

Love how his book is coming along, and although I have a long ways to feeling caught up, it is a process that is in motion!  My baby is going to be 9 months old tomorrow.   Seriously, his birth seems like yesterday...talk about time flying!  
More to come!  K

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Some scrappy treats

My life is so full right now and so busy.  Actually we live a very simple life but these two little kiddos keep me on my toes.  Between caring for them and having fun with them, taking the necessary time for myself such as going to the gym a few times a week, it leaves little time to keep up on everything, all the time.  Unfortunately that means this little blog goes awhile without an update.  When I get frustrated, I just remind myself that these two babes are growing so fast and I need to spend as much time on them now while they are still little and enjoy them thoroughly!  And at the end of the day, if I can put my head on the pillow and know they had a happy, fun filled day...I did something right and my day is complete.  I guess it's just part of the complexities of motherhood.  Anyways, Enough of the ramble...

A month ago, Mom and I went to our favorite scrapbook retreat, The Paper Doll House, where we spent the weekend playing with our artsy friends and had a great time.  It's always so nice to get away together and scrapbook during the daylight hours again (instead of the night hours when the house is quiet).  The weekend is good for the soul and I look forward to our next visit. (which we need to plan Mom! :))  I did quit a few layouts and here are the first couple.  Unfortunately, blogger doesn't make it easy to move the pictures around, but the fall into fun layout is a 2 page layout.

I also finished a bunch of layouts for Rylan's book which I will post really soon.  But for now, here's some from last fall and 2010's vday.


Until later!  K

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

MOMMA LOVE


Mother's Day comes around only once a year, but really everyday is a blessing with these two sweet babies.  I am honored and priveledged to be their mommy and they certainly make every day sweet and challenging, but oh so fun.  I might be the one to teach them their ABC's and their numbers, but they are teaching me so much more.   Among many things, I have learned to be more patient, live in the moment, and enjoy the little things in life. 

Thank you Makenna Claire and Rylan for all of these little reminders.  I love this journey we are taking together and I love you both so much!  Know that I will always be here to guide you along your path, help you find your own way in this crazy world, and encourage you to become the person you aspire to become.    Most of all I want you to know that you have a mother who loves you more than life itself. I would do anything for you. I never knew how much I could love someone until you each came into my life.
 But for now, I will just enjoy the sweet little girl and adorable baby you are, take in all the snuggles I can, tickle those little feet and enjoy our simple days together.  I know all to well that these days will be replaced by a new adventure all too soon....

so excuse me, but I must get back to playing with blocks and princesses.  




And of course I wouldn't be the mommy I am without the love and guidance that my mom provided to me along the way... Thank you mom for being such a strong role model and for everything you do for my family, every day!  We love you!

And a shout out to my mom-in-law who raised a wonderful and amazing man who has fulfilled all my dreams.

Happy mother's day to you 2! xo

Ok..now onto kissing those little noses and tickling little toes.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Meet Rylan Raspberry

As the little guy gets older and begins to mimic the behaviors and faces of those around him, it's more entertaining than words can describe. If we called the first official trick "the wave", I guess the second official one is "the raspberry". In its evolution, it is classic. Enjoy!